For a period of a year and a half I was invisible: As a million other Danes, I drove a black company car.
The number one million is a sensation more than an actual fact but the headline itself is the apparent truth. And while I understand why death chose black, I simply do not grasp the latter. While white (according to a study by German BASF) in 2016 was the most popular color for private cars (30% of new private cars were white), it was the evil brother of the innocent white color black (with 27% of company cars in that color) that sat hard on the company car market.
Truth be told, I do not understand either: I had a white car (my SAAB 90), and swore I would not have another one – but oops I did it again (with my Mercedes SLC). White is not an easy color for a car, but admittedly it can suit beautiful shapes. Which is why neither the SAAB 90 nor the Mercedes SLC should be available in white, in fact. Coincidentally white is the color of death in it in Chinese culture, by the way.
However, black is even worse for cars: It almost hides beautiful shapes, and in daily use is even more impractical than white in relation to dirt and in particular to damage and defects in the paint. I think it is appropriate that black is the standard color of hearses that only run on solemn occasions and also never have dents or scratches (what bastard would ever hit and run a hearse?). But black on other cars?
I am speaking from experience having had three black cars: A 1962 MG 1100, which, however, compensated by being provided with copious amounts of chrome, having a splendid red upholstery and, incidentally, was not burdened with such plebeian chores as actually driving. A 1983 Honda Civic S that compensated with various red speed stripes and again – partly – red upholstery. As well as by not being beautiful why there was actually nothing to hide. And lastly a 1989 Honda Civic that clearly showed all the disadvantages of the color: It was impossible to keep clean, it hid what I believe is the most beautiful Civic ever and the car disappeared in the parking lot among all the other blacks. I sold it after a couple of weeks of immense disappointment, but in that period of time managed to buy and mount a set of spoked alloy wheels that made it come tremendously alive. But not enough.
Because black IS the color of death and since my company car was also a station wagon, it really is not too far away from the hearse comparison. Except maybe that I’ve rarely seen a hearse with a towbar. But at least I did not have to try to hide in my black car – because it blended in with what felt like half of all other traffic on the motorway being black estates too.
But I can not help but wonder: How has it come this far? As I said, black does no good for cars. In fact the car designer Frank Stepenson states it very bluntly:
I would only have a car in black if I didn’t like the design of it.
It certainly doesn’t help that one-third of car owners choose a car of the same color either. And no, it does not solve the basic problem to tart up the car with funky alloys: So did all the others. Mine? It had hubcaps. I think that’s cool. But had it just been brown though.
Maybe I overlooked that the eleventh commandment said company cars should be black? Is it an actual law? Some sort of EU-harmonization?
Even thinking it over really hard I can only come up with one car that will suit me as a company car in black – and still radiate the dynamic image that you want as the company’s man in the special car industry: the Lamborghini Countach LP 400S.
If I were to drive a Countach it would definately be a distinct advantage to have the company pay for the running costs too. In return, I would promise never to be late for meetings again. However, with the small risk that I instead did not show up at all.
Until that becomes a reality (wait for it – no, wait longer…) I will allow myself to dream back to the time when company cars had colors. Just as my current S-Class has. Such a rare colour on nowadays such a rare car that I actually had to stalk and stop a similar car when I was away this weekend. The owner showed up too and I swear people driving non-black and older cars are simply much more sympatic than those driving the colour of death.
