April and May is usually when the old car scene really gets going but we have a delayed start this year, at least as far as official events go. As such, I’ve not been doing much that would be worthy of ViaRETRO under normal circumstances – assuming I can remember what normal circumstances were.
Obviously, the response to the virus continues to cause the most disruption to normal life, but on top of that we’ve been moving to a more suitable house (for clarity I should say that “we” doesn’t refer to the whole ViaRETRO team; we don’t all live together in one big house like they did on the The Monkees). For reasons that seemed to make sense at the time, we didn’t move on one day like most people do, but rather we’re gradually migrating to the new place. Throw in the complication of moving cars in various states of roadworthiness, and it’s become a major logistical operation. As such, I’m covering lots of miles crossing the county line several times a day, and my non-retro pickup has been earning its keep. It’s not a bad place to sit and watch the countryside glide by. It has all mod cons like opening windows and a CD player. It’s even got a CD disc inside the CD player, a copy of the punk and new wave compilation album The Sound Of The Suburbs (1991 Sony Music Entertainment UK Ltd) which got permanently stuck in there a couple of years ago. I usually listen to BBC Radio 4 but I can escape the relentless doom and gloom by pressing the DISC button and enjoying what we refer to in our household as “Truck FM”.
If it wasn’t for a series of complications I should have had my BMW E30 project back from the paint shop by now, but events have conspired to delay the job. Frankly it’s been quite convenient not to have to collect it just at the moment. Ever Fallen In Love (With Someone You Shouldn’t ’ve), ask the Buzzcocks on track 3 of Truck FM. Poor old Pete Shelley though, he was alive when I bought the E30 and he’s been gone a couple of years already. It’s not that the events are in any way linked but it makes me think about how long it’s been since the car has turned a wheel. I have to remind myself it’ll be great when it’s done, and at least now I’ll have more room to work on it. My new garage is a lot more spacious and once the carpet of fossilized donkey eggs are cleared out it should be quite homely. Here’s a memorial photograph of it, in what is very definitely not my new garage.
I did intend to take the E30 to spectate at the Donington Historic Festival, but following new Government guidance issued on 6th April, nobody will be spectating there at all. Although outdoor attractions like zoos and theme parks can reopen, and events such as agricultural shows, steam rallies and food festivals can take place with up to 4,000 visitors per day, having a few thousand spectators scattered around the edge of a windy racing circuit is still classified as being too dangerous. As such, Donington’s Festival was run behind closed doors, as was Shelsley Walsh’s Speed Into Spring on May 1st and 2nd. I’m now looking forward to the 17th of May when watching live motorsport will magically become as safe as licking a giraffe at the zoo or buying an artisan cake from a middle-class person. By way of a caveat, I am not a virologist or medically qualified. Truck FM talks of Teenage Kicks but I’d settle for middle-aged ones. I’m a hopeless spectator anyway so I’m really focused on the Yorkshire Motorsport Festival on June 30th when I can get my foot down again.
2020 taught us to how to make our own entertainment and the small pleasures became all the more precious (except I didn’t learn anything apart from finding that small pleasures are by definition not good as big pleasures). Real entertainment remains in short supply, but as I’ve been spending so much time ferrying between two houses recently, I’ve stayed alert by seeing what I can spot through the own windscreen. The past few weeks have been warm and sunny so I can recall seeing in no particular order; an unusually white Triumph Stag; a number of over-restored E-Types (yawn); a convoy consisting of a Jag XJ-S, Citroen Dyane, a possible Panther Kallista and a MGB; spotting the whereabouts of not one but two FWD Escort RS2000s; a Delorean; a Standard Ensign; a gloss black Mk1 Ford Consul (twice); a TR7 drophead; a homebrew TR8; a lesser spotted second generation Toyota MR2; and the usual brace of BMW E36s that just about cling on in daily service. I didn’t get a photograph of any of them – this isn’t Facebook and you’re not 12 years old, use your imagination. It only occurred to me that the unusually high concentration was probably down to Drive-it Day, which I marked by not managing to drive my old cars at all.
I was awoken at 4:33am last Saturday morning by what may have been a spectral pre-war motorcycle being ridden noisily over the moors, its supernatural pilot condemned never to reach his destination but ride endlessly forward to disappear into the misty light of the breaking dawn. I think I’ve been coping with lockdown really well, considering…
Newsdesk: the newspapers have been full of climate one-upmanship following the 2021 Leaders’ Summit, where politicians competed to make the most eye-catching commitments to achieve carbon Net Zero. I don’t think anyone can argue with the wisdom of treading more lightly, but many of the technologies required to achieve meaningful changes are as yet unproven. Us classic car owners are prime advocates for re-using, recycling and extending product lifecycles, but I doubt that argument will go far when weighed against the perception of noise and fumes. To mark the occasion I have been getting my hands oily (carbon alert) by converting one of my cars to run on twin carbs, because if I don’t act now, time will run out! I trust the various federations that exist to preserve our motoring heritage will keep fighting our corner as the carbon impact from our hobby is really quite minimal in the grand scheme of things. I am heartened to learn of serious new investment being sunk into carbon neutral road fuels, and not just from the big players. It’s not just classic cars that will require an internally combustible liquid in the medium term.
I might have been busy doing nothing much worthy of ViaRETRO, but that’s different to doing nothing at all.